Mother’s Day 2019

I have always believed that there is more than one way to become a mother.

From a young age I had the desire to be a mother. I always enjoyed caring for children, whether that was my siblings, children I interacted with through church or those I babysat.

Since marrying John almost 6 years ago that desire to become a mother became even stronger. We chose to wait to start our journey to parenthood, both so we could have some time to establish our marriage as well as become more financially stable. Even though we decided to wait, my desire to become a mom only continued to grow. I would babysit frequently and volunteered to work with children at church. I enjoyed any chance I could to spend with my nieces and nephews I gained through marrying John.

About 3 years after we were married we decided it was time to begin our journey to parenthood. As quickly as we became pregnant I experienced a miscarriage.  It was just before Mother’s Day 2016 and Mother’s day hit me hard.  Although my miscarriage was very early I was heartbroken. It was at this time that I poured my heart and soul into what motherhood really means and I came to the belief and knowledge that even before I had become pregnant that I was already a mother. True, I may not have had any children living under my roof or in my direct care, but the children I did interact with and care for experienced my love for them and in the process I was learning how to love like a mother.

Now I have a toddler and I’m expecting another baby. I feel so incredibly blessed to provide a body for these tiny beings.  But I also feel that it is so important to recognize that providing a physical body for a baby is not the only way to become a mother. I know women who cannot have children. I know single women who long to have a companion and have children of their own, but who for some reason have not had the chance to experience that.  I know many mothers with children in heaven, but not in their arms.

I believe that if you desire to be a mother that you are a mother.  This belief has become even stronger for me as a raise Elinore. I am not super-mom. I can’t do it all. I need help. I need the village of other women (and men!) to help raise my family.  Of course I believe that ultimately my daughter’s nurturing, nourishment and well being is in my hands, but I could not do it without my network.  My friends, her daycare teachers, her nursery leaders, grandmothers, babysitters, aunts, the list goes on!

This Mother’s Day, whether you have a child in your belly, in your arms, in heaven or in your heart you ARE a mother. You are LOVED and the love you give is felt, even if it isn’t always acknowledged.