God's plan for my family, it's different than yours

Yesterday when a stranger discovered that my husband is still in school and has a few more years left, and that I'm supporting our family right now, and that I'm pregnant, she said "wouldn't it have been better to wait until your husband got a job to have kids, was this a planned pregnancy?"

Well stranger, even though it really is none of your business, your words got me thinking. Yes, this was a planned pregnancy, and yes perhaps it would have been more logical for my us to wait until my husband has a job. However, God doesn't always work in logical ways.  We are firm believers that choosing to start a family is a sacred decision between a husband, wife and the Lord.

John and I were married in June of 2013.  I was in school and he was working, he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do, so he worked while I went to dental hygiene school.  It worked well for us.  I wanted children soon, it was something we had discussed before getting married.  We had prayed about it and counseled with the Lord, and the answer we got at the time was a no. It was not the time to start our family.  To be honest, I was sad about the answer, however, I knew it was the right answer for the time being.

I graduated dental hygiene school in April of 2015.  I thought, surely this is the time we are to start our family! So once again we set about pondering, praying, attending our temple and deciding with the Lord if this was the time.  Once again, the answer was no.  And once again I was sad, but I understood and desired to follow God's plan for us.

Then, I decided to get logical about it.  I did a lot of planning and math and decided that it would be good to try and start our family in December 2016 so we might have a baby sometime in 2017.  It made logical sense with my work schedule and John's education.

January 2016 comes around and I began to receive promptings that it was time to begin our family. I was astonished!  I ignored them at first because if that was true it was going to ruin my well thought out plan.  I shared my thoughts with John and after bringing it to the Lord, we realized that it was time. I was elated, and at the same time, I was nervous about what the future would hold.

In April 2016 I got a positive pregnancy test!  We were thrilled! This would mean I was due in December, which is when we had been intending to start trying for a baby, but this felt so right.  Just 2 short weeks after discovering I was pregnant, I began to bleed.  Over the next week, I had a miscarriage.  Even though it was so early, it was so hard.  I became so confused and angry with God.  I did not understand.  He had helped us decide it was time to start our family, only for it to end.

It took several months for me to heal emotionally.  I became quite depressed in this time.  I did not want to try to have children again for fear of another miscarriage.  In this time, though, I look back and see the Lord was with me.  And in that time we discovered I needed some additional vaccines before becoming pregnant again, and I was able to sign up for short term disability insurance that would ensure partial pay during maternity leave; something I wouldn't have had if I had given birth in December.  This trial strengthened our relationship, something I did not know, but we needed.  Before becoming pregnant again my husband and I were able to move in with my parents to save more money.  It was not an easy thing to go through, but looking back I see the Lords hand through it all.

November 2016, another positive pregnancy test. I was excited, but I did not want to get too excited until it felt more real.  Then around 6 weeks pregnant, something different happened.  I became SO INCREDIBLY SICK. The sickness that plagues many pregnant women, nausea, vomiting and general yuck.  I was in bed for weeks, barely able to eat or move.  It was such a blessing we were living with my parents because I was unable to work, and as such we suddenly had no income. Had we been living in our previous residence we would have been unable to pay rent.  What an unexpected blessing.  I was in bed for about a month, and then slowly but surely things have gotten better and I was able to get back to work eventually.

Well, today marks 20 weeks pregnant! We are halfway there folks. So stranger, you don't know my story and it really isn't your business, but I'll answer your questions: Yes, my husband is in school, yes I am supporting our family financially right now, yes I will be a working mom, yes this was PLANNED and yes, God has a plan for my family and it is different than his plan for your family! It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?