Glen’s Birth Story

On the evening of Sunday, July 7, 2019 (Elinore’s 2nd birthday) my water broke (at 38 weeks, 5 days). It didn't surprise me too much as Elinore came at 37 weeks 1 day, but I hadn't really been having any impending signs of labor and had tried to convince myself that this baby boy could be in there for another 3 weeks. This pregnancy was quite different from my pregnancy with Ellie, so I don't know why I expected my labor to go the same, but I did.  With Elinore I was in active labor within 2 hours of my water breaking. So when my water broke I called my parents and doula to let them know.

With my daughter, when I received the epidural it stopped my labor, so this time I decided I wanted to prepare for an unmedicated birth.  John and I started preparations in February. We took a very thorough childbirth class where we learned many different pain management techniques and coping tools for unmedicated labor.  We also decided that we would plan to give birth at the birth center here in Grand Junction to help us achieve our goal.

I had moderate contractions through the night, but labor didn't seem to be picking up. By morning the contractions were only 10-15 minutes apart and I was coping with them very well.  I was feeling a little confused but still optimistic that we would have a baby soon! We went into the birth center to try and figure out why contractions weren't picking up. At first, the midwives thought that Glen may have flipped breach!  I had a small freak out moment, but then they grabbed the ultrasound and confirmed he was head down and VERY engaged. They then thought he wasn’t in the best position for labor (and that’s why things were progressing slowly), so the midwives sent me home with several exercises/positions to get in to encourage the baby to rotate.  They also sent me to the chiropractor for an adjustment.

My mom and John were with me, they dropped me off at the chiropractor for my adjustment and then picked up some Chick Fil A for lunch.  The chiropractor gave me a few additional suggestions to encourage labor, then John and my mom picked me up from my appointment and we headed home to enjoy lunch.

Me trying to get baby to turn by getting in strange, upside down positions.

By noon things had picked up some, but I didn't feel like things were progressing as they should and I started to get anxious and worried. One of the policies the birth center has to abide by (legally) is that births must happen within 48 hours of the water breaking, otherwise a transfer to the hospital is necessary; I didn’t want this to happen!  I became quite distraught, but after a phone call with my doula I started to feel a little better. Throughout the afternoon contractions continued to be 5 minutes apart and more intense, but I was still coping well so we continued to stay home.

Elinore had been at daycare, but we picked her up and all ate dinner together. After dinner my parents took Elinore to get a trike for her birthday.  While they were gone John decided to take a shower. After about 20 minutes by myself the contractions really picked up and I knew it was time to go. My parents were just returning from their trip to the store.  My mom, John, Elinore and I packed in the car and headed to the birth center.

We arrived at the birth center and got settled.  My doula, Angela, and her daughter, Lia, arrived shortly after we did. Lia has been babysitting Elinore since she was 1, so she was the perfect person to tend to her while I was in labor.  We decided that we wanted Elinore to be present when Glen was born, so Lia watched her in the lobby of the birth center until it was time for him to be born.

After we got settled in the room the midwife on call, Jeana, examined me. I was 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced. She also discovered there was a second layer to the amniotic sac. Since my water had already broken some she asked me if I'd like her to rupture the second layer. After talking about it we decided this was the right thing to do. It was pretty uncomfortable, especially since I had a contraction while she was breaking the sac!  After that contractions became very intense. I was glad that we were at the birth center and I didn’t have to travel in the car with these contractions. We decided to walk around the birth center for a little while.

John and I started to walk around together.  When I would have a contraction, I leaned up against the wall for support while John put pressure on my lower back.  The most relief I got from
contractions was when John would rub my lower back, so I had him do it a lot, his arms were probably so sore the next day.  After walking around for about 5 minutes, I decided I wanted to go back to the room. I felt a little hungry, so I had a honey stick. I was still laughing and talking between contractions, but after I finished my honey stick, contractions reached a whole new level of intensity and frequency!








Soon the waves began to take all of my mental and physical energy. My entire focus was on getting through each contraction. I started to think to myself, “what have I done? Why did I decide to have an unmedicated birth? I think I am going to die!” But there was no going back at this point.

The nurse, Nona, asked me if I might like to get in the birth tub. I had mentioned prior to labor that I might want to use the tub for pain relief and/or give birth in the tub. When she asked me if I wanted to try the tub, I walked over to the water, touched it with one finger and recoiled. I replied “heck no!” I remember being completely disgusted by just the thought of getting in the tub. I was already burning up and the tub felt like 1000 degrees! It was not where I wanted to be.

At this point, I decided I wanted to try the nitrous gas.  They rolled the cart out and unwrapped the mask for me. I took a few breaths in and it began to make me feel very strange. I didn’t like it at first, but they had me take a few more breaths and it started to feel better. It didn’t take the pain away, but it did take the edge off and it helped me to breathe deeply.

The midwife Patty told me to let her know when I felt like I needed to push. Shortly after that, the urge to push started. I could no longer be upright, things were happening so fast. I jumped on the bed on my hands and knees and instinctively started pushing, but something felt off. I then got on my side and the midwife discovered a cervical lip (a small bit of cervix that hasn’t dilated completely) through one contraction she helped move the lip and I was able to begin pushing more effectively. 

 At the beginning of pushing my mom was right next to me and she started counting. Apparently, I didn’t like it because I slapped her arm and said “no counting!”.  She stopped counting! I pushed on my side on the bed for what seemed like FOREVER (later I learned it was only about 20 minutes or so). Things were getting close, everyone said they could see his head. A few times I reached down to feel his head, it was much softer than I expected and I asked “is that really his head?” in an exasperated tone.  Things had progressed well, but for a little while it seemed we were at a standstill. For one contraction the midwives had me put my legs together and that contraction became significantly more intense. I couldn’t sustain multiple contractions in that position, but we needed to do something to help baby the last little bit.

Angela suggested that I change positions. I wasn’t so sure about that, but I trusted her. Everyone helped me transfer to the birth stool.  I asked for a mirror to see the baby. They grabbed the mirror and seeing how close he was gave me the courage to finish. All of the sudden everything started burning. My mom was right there and I looked at her and cried “it burns!” But I knew this meant baby would be with us any moment, I kept on pushing.

At this point, Angela thought that Glen would be born soon, so she ran to the lobby to get Elinore and Lia.  The midwife could tell that baby’s hand was stuck near his face, preventing him from being born. Later she told me she had to decide if she should have me stand up all the way (I was on the birthing stool) or help his stuck hand out (with her hand) and risk a tear.  She and the other midwife present decided I probably wouldn’t be able to stand (I think they were right) so they helped his hand out and almost immediately Glen was born!

As soon as he was born Elinore wanted to hold him immediately. They put him on my chest and the photos are evidence that I was shocked; everything had happened so fast!  I was so relieved but also couldn’t believe he was actually here. I was able to hold him for a few minutes, but I was bleeding quite a bit so they gave him to John. They administered some medications to help stop the bleeding. The first and second medications didn’t work quickly enough, but a third medication and a little time and the bleeding finally slowed to a reasonable level.  

As the midwives and nurse were attending to me, John and Elinore got to enjoy Glen. Even though Ellie wanted to hold him as soon as he was born, she didn’t want to anymore once John was holding him, but she was very interested and wouldn’t leave his side!  We are so grateful that our baby boy is earth side. He has enriched our family in ways we didn’t know we needed.

Mother’s Day 2019

I have always believed that there is more than one way to become a mother.

From a young age I had the desire to be a mother. I always enjoyed caring for children, whether that was my siblings, children I interacted with through church or those I babysat.

Since marrying John almost 6 years ago that desire to become a mother became even stronger. We chose to wait to start our journey to parenthood, both so we could have some time to establish our marriage as well as become more financially stable. Even though we decided to wait, my desire to become a mom only continued to grow. I would babysit frequently and volunteered to work with children at church. I enjoyed any chance I could to spend with my nieces and nephews I gained through marrying John.

About 3 years after we were married we decided it was time to begin our journey to parenthood. As quickly as we became pregnant I experienced a miscarriage.  It was just before Mother’s Day 2016 and Mother’s day hit me hard.  Although my miscarriage was very early I was heartbroken. It was at this time that I poured my heart and soul into what motherhood really means and I came to the belief and knowledge that even before I had become pregnant that I was already a mother. True, I may not have had any children living under my roof or in my direct care, but the children I did interact with and care for experienced my love for them and in the process I was learning how to love like a mother.

Now I have a toddler and I’m expecting another baby. I feel so incredibly blessed to provide a body for these tiny beings.  But I also feel that it is so important to recognize that providing a physical body for a baby is not the only way to become a mother. I know women who cannot have children. I know single women who long to have a companion and have children of their own, but who for some reason have not had the chance to experience that.  I know many mothers with children in heaven, but not in their arms.

I believe that if you desire to be a mother that you are a mother.  This belief has become even stronger for me as a raise Elinore. I am not super-mom. I can’t do it all. I need help. I need the village of other women (and men!) to help raise my family.  Of course I believe that ultimately my daughter’s nurturing, nourishment and well being is in my hands, but I could not do it without my network.  My friends, her daycare teachers, her nursery leaders, grandmothers, babysitters, aunts, the list goes on!

This Mother’s Day, whether you have a child in your belly, in your arms, in heaven or in your heart you ARE a mother. You are LOVED and the love you give is felt, even if it isn’t always acknowledged.

Elinore's Birth Story

Elinore's birth story starts a few weeks before she was born. At 33 weeks and 4 days, I started having very frequent Braxton Hicks contractions that wouldn’t go away. We went to the hospital to get it checked out. At the hospital, the contractions started to become painful and the staff determined I was in labor. I stayed at the hospital a few days as they tried to stop labor from progressing. It was successful and I was sent home at 34 weeks on modified bed rest (no work, lots of resting and only light housework) I was also on a medication to keep the contractions away. Each night following I would get contractions again but they would go away as I slept. When 37 weeks came I was given permission to stop the medication as it would be fairly safe for her to be born after that time.

I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself to be pregnant for another 3 weeks on the day I stopped the medication, but that night I woke up to my water breaking at 12:45 am. I tried to wake John up, I said: "John my water broke!". John is quite the deep sleeper and he only half woke up and said "What? You want your water bottle?" And I said, "NO, my water broke!" A little louder than before and he immediately shot out of bed as if he hadn't even been asleep! He began frantically gathering our things. I called my midwife and told her the news and she told us to get ready and head to the hospital. When we arrived I was having contractions every 6 minutes. We got admitted to the hospital and I was handling the contractions well until about 3:30 AM at which point contractions were about 3 minutes apart and extremely painful. We didn't know how much longer I would be in labor so I opted for an epidural and I am so glad I did! After the epidural, I was able to rest some, but I was also very anxious for baby girl to arrive so I didn’t get too much sleep. The next 11 hours were full of a lot of waiting. My midwife would check my progression every few hours, finally, at 2:20 pm it was time to push.

Pushing that baby out was the hardest thing I have ever done! Even though I had the epidural, by 5:00 pm I was getting very tired. Still, with every contraction, I pushed as hard as I could! Around 5:30 my midwife was getting a little worried. It seemed like I was not going to be able to push her out, and the doctor on call had quite a high c section rate so she didn't want to get him involved if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I could sense her worry and realized there wasn't much time to get our baby girl here, but I also knew that I was doing absolutely everything I could. Between contractions I said a silent prayer pleading for help. I knew I could not do this on my own. On the next contraction, I pushed with all my might, and I could feel that it was the strongest I had pushed all day, but it was not entirely my strength doing the work. I know I was receiving divine help. In that moment our baby girl was born. My midwife immediately gave her to me and I was overcome with emotion. There was so much commotion in that room but it was so peaceful. As there were many things happening all around us, it felt like, John, Elinore and I were the only 3 in the room. John and I just cried and stared at our baby girl, and that is how Elinore Lucille White entered the world.